still tender...

still tender after this morning's dream...

tears pressing at the backs of my eyes all day long.

not sad tears.

not tears of mourning.

just tears...tears of missing.

and tears...tears of having been touched right where and right when i needed it most.

what a gift.

for whatever reason,

this is the song that ran through my mind all day long.

i found myself humming it, 

singing it,

mulling over the last verse, especially.

if videos aren't your thing,

turn it on and close your eyes.

just listen to it.

i think you'll be blessed.

and then tonight at church,

this is the hymn we sang, 

right before the message.

i found myself in my pew,

tears streaming down my face,

unable to do more than mouth the final verse.

look at those words!

look at them!

...perfect rest to me is promised in my Father's house above;

when my spirit, clothed immortal, wings its flight to realms of day,

this my song thro' endless ages, Jesus led me all the way.

it may sound like i'm sad...

like i'm grieving.

i'm not.  i'm really not.

actually, i'm savoring these tender moments...

it seems, as you get farther and farther from the passing of a loved one,

that there are fewer and fewer sacred moments set aside just for remembering...

just for dwelling on them...

and what they were--and still are--in your life.

that's where i am right now...

not physically, of course...

physically, i'm making meals and teaching lessons and folding laundry and wiping noses.

but my spirit...

my deep insides...

they're treasuring these tender moments...

when memories are flooding back with vivid clarity

and the past seems an arm's-reach away.

and yes,

it hurts a little.

i'd be lying if i said it didn't.

but it hurts so good.

and i know, deep down,

that deep hurt

is only because there is such

deep love.

thank YOU...yes, YOU.  thank you for so graciously allowing me to bare my heart to you.  my blog is me...all the different parts of me.  the food-loving parts...the thrift-loving parts...the pretty parts...the ugly parts...the happy parts...and the hurting parts.  these posts are kind of a cross between those last two--happy...and...hurting.  sadly, losing loved ones is a part of life...a very natural part of life.  and call me crazy, but i think we should talk about it.  i think it helps.  i really do.  i think it helps to know that there are others out there, going through what you're going through, feeling what you're feeling.  so that's what this is.  it's honesty.  raw, open, vulnerable honesty.  thanks for allowing me to be honest and authentic. xo

this morning's dream

I had the most vivid dream about her this morning.

We were standing on the sand...

I want to think it was Lake Geneva; 

but in reality, it looked more like the ocean...

even though we had never been to the ocean together.

I was hugging her from behind,

my arms wrapping around her shoulders,

across her collarbone.

Even now, hours later, I can remember how her shoulders

felt.

And I can distinctly recall exactly how she

smelled.

She smelled like she always had.

She smelled like Mom.

In my dream, I buried my face in the crook of her neck...

and I cried, "I don't think I can do this."

As dreams often go, I don't know what conversation or events led up to my saying that to her, but in the dream it was just understood that I was referring to her passing.

We stood there on the beach,

my arms wrapped around her shoulders,

and I sobbed into her neck.

And I remember,

she tilted her head so that it was touching mine,

and she said, "Can you just trust me?"

And again, in typical dream-fashion,

I just understood that she was referring to a conversation we had actually had...in real life...

a conversation when we talked about her going Home...

a conversation when I really did cry...

and when she told me it would be okay...

and that she was at peace about the whole thing.

And then,

just as suddenly,

I woke up.

And my cheeks were wet with tears,

tears shed during our conversation.

Yet somehow, I treasure that dream.

I love it when I dream about her.

Because in my dreams, I can see her.

I can feel her.

I can smell her.

I can hear her. 

It's like, for those moments, however brief and fleeting,

she's still with me.

And I know she's in a better place,

and I know she's no longer suffering,

and I know she wouldn't come back even if she could...

But every so often,

more often than I care to admit,

that's all I want.

I want her still with me.

So, I'll fold up the memory of this morning's dream

and tuck it in my heart, and carry it around with me until I've worn the ink from its pages,

 and it fades beyond recollection.

And then I'll wait...

longing and anticipating and hoping...

for the next time she appears in my dream.

Whole 30 Day 8 & 9...and "Aye, Aye, Me Hearty!" Spaghetti Sauce recipe

Day 8...which, coincidentally, happened to be my birthday...
menu was SUPER-boring...because I "took the day off" and was SUPER-lazy!

Breakfast:
smoothie (same as those other days)

Lunch:
leftover sprouts 'n sausage from dinner on Day 7

Dinner:
hubby fried up two slices of uncured bacon and three eggs for me...nothin' fancy, but I didn't have to cook it, so I was happy!

➺➺➺➺➺➺➺➺➺➺➺➺➺➺➺➺➺➺➺

Day 9

Breakfast:
smoothie (same old, same old...but I do love my morning smoothies!)

Lunch:
our furnace went out...
and my phone died. and decided not to take a charge. at all. like d.e.a.d. dead. kaput...
and I really needed a shower...
and school took hours longer than it usually does...
and I skipped lunch.
yep.  oops.

Dinner:
baked spaghetti squash topped with "Aye, Aye, Me Hearty!" Spaghetti Sauce...a hefty portion of sauce, I might add...since I really could just eat the sauce on its own.

I came up with this sauce when my hubs and I did our first Whole 30 back in March/April of 2013.  Then we fell of the wagon, so to speak (read all about that here).  Yet, even last summer as I was cooking up the goodies from our CSA box, something told me my time with Whole 30/clean eating/paleo/healthy eating wasn't done.

One time in particular, our box provided us with an over-abundance of eggplant and tomatoes...and one of my IG friends mentioned a spaghetti sauce recipe that she had--a cook-from-fresh-right-from-scratch sauce recipe.

The resulting sauce was fabulous.  Very smooth, very basic, meatless, but still very substantial.  I do not like pasta sauces that leave you with naked noodles and a puddle of tomato water in the bottom of your dish.  I want thick, hearty goodness that clings to my spaghetti.  This from-scratch sauce fit the bill.  I made several large batches of this basic sauce and froze it to use as the "base" for my meaty, plaeo-friendly, stick-to-your-ribs sauce.

For your "starter," feel free to use whatever canned/jarred sauce you can find that's W30/paleo-friendly.  I know Trader Joe's Marinara Sauce (pictured below in the big, green, 28oz. can) is compliant to both of those diets.  That's what I used last spring, but since I had homemade on hand today, that's what I used this time.  This recipe is open to tweaking of all sorts...consider it a guideline and have fun playing around with different spices, herbs, meats, and veggies.  It turns out different almost every time I make it, depending on what I have on hand.
Also, you should probably note that this makes a VERY large batch.  I like to have plenty for a dinner (for our family of 6), plus for several breakfast/lunch left-over meals.  If you have a smaller family, you may want to freeze some of it, or simply cut the recipe down.

☛"Aye, Me Hearty!" Spaghetti Sauce
120-140 ounces jarred/canned marinara sauce
8 small zucchini, washed, halved lengthwise, and sliced
2 large bell peppers, chopped (today I used one green, one orange)
2 large onions, chopped
2 14oz cans diced tomatoes, drained
2 cans mushroom stems & pieces, drained (I usually use three cans, but only had two on hand today.  Fresh mushrooms would be good, too!...whatever you have on hand!)
1-2 pounds Italian sausage (not in casings, to be browned with veggies and broken apart in the sauce)
1 pound pre-cooked Italian sausage, sliced
2-3 Tbsp. minced garlic
black pepper, salt, Italian seasoning, all to taste

Drizzle a bit of evoo in the bottom of a large stock pot or Dutch oven.  Sauté sausage, onions, and peppers until sausage is no longer pink.  Add zucchini and cook until slightly tender.  
This photo is what my pot looked like at this stage↓↓↓

Add all other ingredients.  Bring to a boil and immediately reduce to a simmer.  Simmer at medium-low for a couple hours.  Taste occasionally, and adjust spices to suit your preferences.

Leftovers tip: for the best breakfast you've ever had, scoop a small ladle of this sauce into your favorite skillet.  Once heated through, toss in several handfuls of baby spinach.  Allow to cook until wilted.  Make small "holes" in this mixture and crack fresh eggs into those spots.  Sprinkle with a bit of salt and pepper and cover skillet. Cook until eggs are done, flipping only if necessary.  So delicious!

Whole 30 Day 7...and the best Pot Roast Soup you've ever had

Breakfast:
smoothie (same as the smoothie from Day 3)

Lunch:
small bowl of leftovers from last night's dinner

Dinner:
Out.Of.This.World Pot Roast Soup

 ☛Incredible, Out-of-this-World Pot Roast Soup

disclaimer: i may just be theee worst food blogger ever.  in fact, i am in NO way an actual food blogger.  furthermore, i canNOT take a decent photo of food to save my life.  can. not.

that said, this recipe is begging to be shared with you all.  and therein lies the other dilemma.  i may just be the worst recipe share-er of all time.  i am a throw in some of this, throw in some of that, cook it a bit, taste it, a dash of this'll do, a sprinkle of that'll work, taste it again, throw some salt over my left shoulder...and viola! it's perfect!

i promise, i'll do my best to share this recipe, exactly as i made it.  but keep in mind, it is widely open for interpretation and fiddling and general tweaking here and there.

i doubt you can mess it up.  it is just. that. good.

(all ingredients used were Whole 30 compliant.  check labels of your items, as some ingredients may vary by brand.)

4-5 pounds roast--i used 4 pounds beef arm roast and 1 pound lamb stew meat, because that's what i had on hand.  any type of roast/stew meat would do, even pork

1 large onion, chopped

1-2 Tbsp. onion powder

1-2 Tbsp. dried minced onion

fresh-ground black pepper

three strips uncured bacon

place meat in deep roasting dish (I used a deep-dish, glass, oval 9x13).  sprinkle with onion powder and dried minced onion (i like a lot of onion, so i used the maximum amount, possibly more).  grind fresh black pepper on top, to taste (again, I like a lot).  toss chopped onion over meat and lay three strips bacon over all.  bake covered at 325° for approximately 3 hours (until meat is tender and pulls apart easily).

remove from oven and set aside to cool a bit.  in the meantime, in a large soup pot (i used my huge enamel-coated cast iron Dutch oven) combine:

4 medium turnips, peeled and cubed

2 orange bell peppers (any color would work, the orange were on sale at the grocery)

5 whole carrots (i wash mine, but i never peel them. yah, i'm daring like that)

1 entire celery heart, leaves and all (mom said all the flavor is in the leaves)

1/3-1/2 cup fresh parsley, chopped

5 bay leaves

hefty scoop minced garlic

3 32oz. containers beef stock (i used Harmony Farms beef stock...and danggggit all if I didn't just realize that there are two no-no ingredients in the "less than 1%" list.  oh, well.  hopefully, you're better about all that than i am.)

salt, pepper, seasonings to taste (i used lots of black pepper and a healthy sprinkling of W30 compliant Cajun seasoning.  oh, and a douse of balsamic vinegar.  because someone told me it helps add "depth" of flavor.  and it worked.  so i did it.)

by now your meat should be cool enough to handle.  cut it up, discarding large pieces of fat.  i took some of the hot broth out of the Dutch oven and cleaned out the bottom of the roasting pan...i wanted all that flavorful goodness in my soup.  add the meat (including the bacon) to the soup as you cut it.

bring all to a boil and then reduce heat and cook low and slow for a couple of hours (i actually cooked mine for 3-4 hours).

serve it up and enjoy it hot.  and try to keep yourself from tipping the bowl up to drain every last delicious drop into your mouth.

Whole 30 Day 6

Breakfast:
cashew cookie Lara Bar, banana, and a cup of Candy Cane Lane tea  (the cashew cookie may just be my favorite Lara Bar flavor...I find it hard to believe that the only ingredients in it are dates and cashews)

Lunch:

leftover taco-seasoned chicken breast (homemade taco seasoning, recipe found here) with just a dibble-dabble of 365 canola mayo

Ok...so here's my explanation...

canola oil, while not expressly forbidden, is greatly discouraged on the Whole 30.

Y'all! Every so often, this girl just needs some mayo!  I tried making some myself last week (talked about that here), and while it mayo-ed up SO nicely, I just could.not.stand the flavor.  I've got to try some different oils...see if I can achieve a palatable, usable spread.  For now, I can breathe a little easier, knowing that if I absolutely have to have a little schmear of mayo, I can dip into the 365 canola mayonnaise from Whole Foods, and rest assured that at least I know what all the ingredients are.

Dinner:

sprouts 'n sausage--cut two slices of uncured bacon into 1" pieces.  Fried it over medium heat for just a minute...tossed in an entire bag of rinsed, cut Brussels sprouts...stirred that up and let it cook for just a bit.  Tossed in an entire head of rinsed, cut cauliflower, drizzled that with some olive oil, added a hefty scoop of minced garlic, fresh-ground black pepper, and a sprinkle of sea salt.  Put the lid on and cooked it all together for 12 minutes.  Lifted the lid and tossed in two and a half organic spicy chicken Italian sausages, cut into 1" pieces.  Stirred it all, cooked for another 5-7 minutes covered, and finished with 5-7 minutes uncovered.  Soooooooo delicious.

Next time, I'll add the cauliflower at the same time as the sausage...it didn't need nearly as much time to cook as I'd anticipated, and was a bit mushy.  The texture didn't bother me at all, but Paul tends to like his veggies just a bit more tender-crisp, so I'll aim for that a little better next time.

Whole 30 Day 5

Sundays are crazy for us.
We live 45 minutes from church, and with Sunday school starting at 9:45, it's a mad scramble to get four kids up, fed, dressed and ready and out the door on time.
All that to say, breakfast was......nothing.  Not ideal, but typical for a Sunday.

Lunch:
Made our first-ever trip to Whole Foods...

...and ate while we were there.  Paul and I split a big container of cioppino (a thick seafood-y soup) and a small container of their salmon-cucumber salad.  The salmon salad was entirely W30 compliant.  The soup had white wine in it, down the ways a bit on the list of ingredients.  Not W30 compliant, I know...but we decided that yesterday was about the "spirit of the law" rather than the "letter of the law"...and a Whole Foods seafood soup was a hundred times better than any other fast food we could have eaten in the nearby area.

Dinner:
...was a repeat of lunch.  We finished off our leftovers.

Our first Whole Foods trip was an experience, to be sure.  We had three of our four kids with us.  I don't know if all WF stores are tightly arranged, but this one certainly was.  
My son thought it'd be fun to start off the adventure by pulling an avocado from the bottom of the slanted display, just to see if all the others really would fall.  As I scrambled to retrieve the four that did fall, I caught several looks...from others who obviously thought that our decision to bring three kids along was less than prudent.
I was ga-ga over all the fresh sausage choices.  We buy our organic beef from the farmer who lives almost right next door to us, so I'm never really in search of cuts of "whole" meat.  What I do have a hard time finding, though, are healthy, flavorful sausages.  I love to have them on hand to toss in a skillet with veggies for a quick meal.
I ended up getting two pounds of their organic mild pork Italian sausage, and two pounds of their organic spicy chicken Italian sausage.

  
I bought an 18oz package of their uncured bacon...it has just a bit of sugar in it, but I shared my thoughts about things like that in this post.  Before you get all huffy with me, read or re-read that post.  This is our second Whole 30...and this time around it's all about finding our balance in everything...finding a way to be able to sustain this healthy way of eating.
I bought a few other incidentals, nothing exciting...items that I'm sure will be mentioned here or there through future posts.

I admit, I did go through a bit of sticker shock.  While it was nice to have the confidence that I could pronounce and recognize all the ingredients in the food I was buying, it was also distressing to pay $10 for eighteen ounces of bacon and $5 for a two-ounce bag of freeze-dried fruit (albeit, theeee very best dried fruit I have ever tasted).
Like I've said before, and I'm sure I'll say it a hundred times again, this go-round of the W30 is all about us finding our balance.  We have to find what works for us.  It's not a realistic option for me to continue cooking two meals for dinner every night--one for Paul and me, one for the kids.  Sure, I can do that for 30 days...but what about after that?  If we're going to have homemade pancakes and bacon for breakfast some morning (post-W30, obviously), am I really going to feed them bacon that costs $8+ per pound?
And I know...I know that the quality you pay for in food today, you will reap years later in health for your body.  I understand that.  But I also have to look at the numbers.  I have to.  And the numbers have to work.  I can't spend $300 or even $200 on our weekly groceries.
So, that's that.  That's where I am right now.
Excited about my Whole Foods finds, excited about using them in some of our meals...but also searching for some balance in making this a lasting change for our whole family, not just for Paul and me.  And I should mention here, my kiddos aren't picky eaters.  Sure, they each have their veggie or two (or three) that they don't like...but they all like a good hearty spinach and romaine salad, loaded with fresh veggies.  My struggle isn't in finding food that they'll eat and like...my struggle is in making it an affordable option for our large-ish family.

Do you have a favorite place to find deals on whole, clean, healthy foods?
I've actually thought about asking our local small-town butcher if I could do a special bulk order of sausage, and if I did so, could I dictate the recipe? ((Our local butcher makes all their own sausages on site.))
Has anyone had any experience with doing something like that?
I'd love to hear your thoughts, suggestions, and especially, experiences in making clean eating more affordable for your family.

Whole 30 Day 4

Breakfast:
smoothie--repeat of yesterday's smoothie

Lunch:
it wasn't ideal, but I kind of ended up skipping/snacking through lunch.  basically it consisted of a small handful of almonds, a small fillet of tilapia left over from the other night, and two or three meatballs left over from last night

Dinner:
two eggs, fried up with a bit of meat left over from last night (meat for the meatballs, that I didn't actually make into meatballs...make sense?) and several handfuls of spinach...eaten with avocado on the side.

Snack:
an orange...
and then an hour later...another orange

There hasn't been a ton of variety in our menu these first few days.  We're still on post-holiday cleaning/purging/un-decorating/re-decorating mode, so basically it's been all about cleaning out the fridge and using what's on hand.  
I mentioned a new cookbook I ordered, Paleo Comfort Foods, in Day 3's post....there are SO many great recipes in this book...and I plan to try several of them...hoping to average at least one new recipe a week.
Tonight, all I want is a warm chocolate chip cookie with a bowl of ice cream.  NOT paleo.  And definitely NOT Whole 30. Sigh.......

Whole 30 Day 3

Breakfast:
smoothie--8oz. light coconut milk (the stuff in a can from TJ's), one frozen banana, a scant handful of frozen blueberries and strawberries, 2Tbsp almond butter (also from TJ's)...soooo creamy and delicious!

Lunch:
one egg, prepared like last night (orange bell pepper, onion, spinach, chicken sausage, eaten with avocado on the side)

Snack:
kale chips--bought the bagged, pre-cut, pre-washed kale from TJ's...mix in a large bowl with a good drizzle of evoo, sprinkle with seasonings of your choice--I used TJ's 21 Seasoning Salute and a bit of sea salt. Bake at 300° for 15-20 minutes.  Watch them carefully, toward the end--all of the sudden, they're done...and you don't want them to burn!

Dinner:
sheepishly good meatballs (from Paleo Comfort Foods cookbook)
sauteed broccoli (like we had on Day 1)

☛Part of the reason that smoothies are discouraged on the Whole 30 is because they say that you can tend to eat a lot more volume of food than you normally would since it is all blended up.  I completely agree with that.  However, if you look at what was in my smoothie, even UNblended, it would have made a healthy, portion-controlled breakfast.
☛If you've never made kale chips, you need to.  Please.  Just trust me on this.  When I first heard of them, I wrinkled my nose up at the thought, too.  They are GREAT.  Really.  You'll have to stop yourself from cramming the whole batch into your face.  By the way, I shared that batch with my husband.  No, I didn't eat it all myself.
☛I omitted the butter in the meatball recipe.  Also, while the recipe called for two pounds ground lamb, I used one pound ground lamb and one pound ground veal that my dad had brought me on Christmas (he cleaned out his freezer and brought me all sorts of goodies that he wasn't going to be able to use up).  I also made my own sauce to go on the meatballs, and didn't use the sauce recipe in the book.

Today I also made my own mayonnaise!
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!
Wish I could tell you how excited I am that it actually turned out!

When Paul and I did our first Whole 30 last March, I tried making homemade mayo...with NO luck.  I ended up with oily scrambled eggs that bore no resemblance at all to mayonnaise.  This time I used my food processor (not my blender), and poured the oil in sooooooooo slowly.  Actually, I timed myself.  To pour in 8oz of oil, it took me 20 minutes!!!  It was the thinnest, slowest stream of oil you ever did see.  But it worked!  And I was so, so thrilled.
One caveat--even though I used extra-light tasting olive oil, the mayo still tastes very olive-oil-y.  Like very, very, very olive-oil-y.  Like, yuck. Bleck. Gross.  That part--the taste--is a huge disappointment.  I'm going to try the recipe again soon, very soon...but will use half avocado oil and half olive oil, like the recipe calls for (mayo recipe also from Paleo Comfort Foods).

Whole 30 Day 2...and a bit of chit-chat...and a tip

Breakfast:
an orange--no, I'm not trying to starve myself...but I woke up and wasn't hungry, so I didn't see any sense in forcing something down.

Lunch:
three eggs, fried in a bit of olive oil, with 1/2 orange bell pepper, 1/4 sweet onion, several handfuls of baby spinach, and one chicken Italian sausage (W30 compliant)...ate it all with 1/2 an avocado on the side.

Snack:
a modest handful of salted almonds and one pear--and it was all I could do not to grab every chip and cracker in the house and stuff them in my mouth.  I had a serious case of the munchies this afternoon!  I really thought the almonds, with their crunchiness, would satisfy the munching urge, but they didn't cut the mustard.  Surprisingly, the pear almost immediately calmed the inner beast.  Why?  I have absolutely no idea.  Was it the natural sugar in the pear?  If you're smart enough to know, by all means, tell me.  AND here's what's even more odd--I don't usually like pears.  But today?  It's all.I.wanted.

Dinner:
basically a repeat of lunch, except topped with Tapatio.
I was commenting to someone on IG today that I am a very "routine" eater.  I could eat the same thing for breakfast every day, seven days a week, and not get tired of it.  I know that's not what the W30 plan is about--they want you to try different foods, learn how to prepare/eat different foods, so that you don't get bored and revert to your old diet.
That said, I'm not about to return to my old diet.  I already enjoy the way I feel, having not had sugar/grains/dairy for two days.  But as this W30 "diary" goes on, you may see that there are days where I'll eat the same meal for breakfast and lunch...or for lunch and dinner.  It's just the way I eat.  No, I don't usually eat 1/2 a dozen eggs in a day's time, but I did today.  And that's that.



A helpful tip:
✎I shop with W30 guidelines in mind...and with the thought that we'll be eating this way for at least 30 days, and close to this way for long after.  Way back this summer, ALDI had a "special buy" of chicken Italian sausage that just so happened to be W30 compliant (if you're familiar at all with ALDI, you recognize that lingo--basically it means that they have a special item for a limited time/limited quantities).  So for several weeks, every time I went grocery shopping, I bought an extra package of those sausages and tossed them in the freezer.  Yes, I can get W30 compliant sausage at TJ's, but the ALDI ones were $2 cheaper.  Eating healthy often costs more (on your grocery bill), but there are ways to save a bit here and there.  Keep your eyes peeled for deals and take advantage of them while you can.

Whole 30, Day 1

breakfast:

cherry pie Lara bar (TJ's)

banana

lunch:

three eggs fried in a dab of olive oil

snack:

guacamole (avocado, garlic salt) dipped with 1 1/2 baby cucumbers

dinner:

baked tilapia, doused with fresh lemon and lemon pepper seasoning

broccoli sauteed with three strips uncured bacon, a hefty scoop of minced garlic, and sprinkled with some bacon-habanero infused sea salt I had on hand

☛TJ's = Trader Joe's...for future reference

☛I sprinkled my eggs with a bit of Benson's salt substitute (available on Amazon).  I retain water like crazy, so I'm trying to cut back on sodium where I can, without sacrificing flavor.

☛In my guac, I like the coarse ground garlic salt with parsley--this blend is available in several brands/stores...but BEWARE, this seasoning blend usually contains sugar.  At ALDI, I found a no-sugar garlic salt blend in a grinder (not the one in the shaker).

☛The baby cucumbers...or English cucumbers...are GREAT for dipping.  No, you're not going to feel like you're eating a tortilla chip, but they still have a bit of a satisfying crunch.  And really, aren't you just looking for something to hold the guac, anyway?

☛ALDI has tilapia in 2lb. bags for $6.29.  Walmart has it in 4lb. bags for $11.97.  I usually like the size/thickness of the Walmart fillets, but really it's a case of to-may-to/to-mah-to.

☛In the interest of full disclosure...after I'd already liberally covered our fish with lemon pepper seasoning, I checked the label of said seasoning.  And discovered that it contains brown sugar.  And we still ate the fish.  And I'm still counting this as Whole 30 Day 1.  So there.  I won't use the seasoning again on this program, but I wasn't about to trash the meal because of 2% sugar on my fish.  No way, no how.  Remember, I'm looking for a sustainable way of eating...not a radical way of thought that I toss off easily after 30 days.

☛The broccoli? Ohmyword deliciousness.  You may not have any bacon-habanero infused sea salt handy, but you can make nearly the same thing, regardless.  Take three slices of uncured bacon, snip it into 1" pieces and fry it for just a minute or two over medium heat.  Toss in 1 1/2 heads of rinsed, cut broccoli.   Drizzle a bit of evoo over all.  Top with a large scoop of minced garlic and sea salt, sprinkled to taste.  Sautee over medium-low to medium heat until desired tenderness is achieved.