random randomness 8/1/14

saturday--we had friends over and i made a paleo version of this salad.  
it turned out so good that i made it again today.  i'll share the recipe soon.

sunday--listening to the radio on the way to church 
and wondered if i'll ever hear this song without crying...or without thinking of her.

monday--started training with weights.  is this called weight training?  i'm such a newbie that i'm not even sure.  we {paul and i} are using free weights and doing just a few basic lifts/moves three to four days a week.  we are being "coached" by a weights-knowledgeable friend of paul's.  i'm excited for this new phase in our fitness...looking forward to even more trimming/toning/shaping!

tuesday--i had just read this post on alicia paulson's blog (one of my very, very favorite blogs for ever and ever--for reals, you should bookmark it and check it out often) and chuckled over the photo of the freebie plums, and the adorable homemade sign that "advertised" them...and was also struck by a bit of envy for the quaint, homey neighborhood she must live in...
and then, tuesday afternoon, i was driving down a hilly country road, not far from my house, and i happened upon this happy little bit of sweetness...

don't you just love it when circumstances collide like that?
this handmade little wagon was brimming over with pan squash, cucumbers, beets, ginormous zucchini, and sugar snap peas.  
and it was all free!  i'm not exaggerating when i say that this pretty much made my day.  and not because i received a bunch of free veggies--i actually only took a zucchini, a few cukes, and a handful of peas--but because the goodness and kind generosity of random strangers to random strangers was just such a breath of fresh air.

wednesday--this is a truth that we so incredibly need to teach our children!

thursday--i'm not typically an on-line clothing shopper...and i'm even more not typically an on-line anthro shopper...but i'd like to order all six of these t-shirts, please? {yes, there are six fabulous styles...click on the color options and you'll see the others.} i'll take them in a medium.  or in a large if anthro sizes run small.  mmmmmmm-kay?  thanks.

friday--spending the day with the bestie today and wanted to spoil her with a yummy lunch.  
so i made this.  and this.  and this-ish (again).


so, today's a full day with my bestie...we're garage-saling this morning, then feeding the kids {there are 11 between the two of us}, then feeding ourselves {with my yummy homemade lunch}...then an afternoon of just being-together-time...hopefully followed by a card game when the husbands get off work tonight.
my men have haircuts on saturday morning...and then nothing too ambitious planned for the rest of the day.
sunday is church, followed by a small-town local parade, followed by a sunday-school-class picnic.

i haven't allowed myself to think about the fact that we're now into august.  i'm like an ostrich, sticking my head in the sand, refusing to face reality....
except i'm sticking my toes in the sand...and my beach chair in the sand...and our towels...and our little green pails...and little red shovels...i'll stick it all in the sand if it will make summer hold on just.a.little.bit.longer.
{{and of course, i get that all typed out and then find out that it's a myth.}}

happy friday, y'all!

{favorite IG post of the week--i'm @tweetpotatopie on there, too}

on finding balance {erin's story--part three}...

{the other posts in this series can be found here.}

over the last two weeks, i've told you much of my personal struggle in finding balance.
i constantly battled the MUST-do mentality...
feeling like i had to get it all done...
and feeling, most days, like that all was enough to bury me.

in the space of a single saturday, while i vacuumed my living room and cleaned my kitchen, 
the Lord was good enough to show me three faulty areas of my thinking...
three little tweaks...
three minor adjustments that made a world of difference to my daily outlook on life and all it entails.

i learned about my all.
and the fact that my all isn't your all...
and the fact that my all is just exactly the perfect "weight" for me...
causing no imbalance in my life...
unless i start looking around and thinking that my all should look more like your all...
and maybe i should be doing what you are doing...
and maybe i should be doing it how you are doing it...
and maybe i really am a lesser person because i can't do it that way.
and then i learned about comparison.
and about how dangerous and hurtful...but normal...it really is.
and about how, if i am going to compare {knowing what a pitfall it can become}, 
i need to compare honestly.
and how honest comparison means seeing the good in others...and seeing the good in myself, too.

and then, that very same day, He showed me my third error in thinking.

i was scrolling through instagram and came across a blog belonging to one of my friends.  i followed the link in her profile, visited her blog, and started reading back through many of her posts.
way back at the beginning of this february, she'd written a post called as is life.
the more i read of it, the more i felt like it was written just for me.

GO.
go NOW and read it.
yes.
follow that little link above.
i'll wait, i promise.
go read it and then come back and read the rest of this.
GO.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
so good, right?
you see...i am one of those people.  
i'm one of the ones who went into each new day thinking that, surely, this would be the day with no inconveniences...no delays...no problems...no mistakes.

but what she said made so much sense.
if i can just accept the fact {and it is, indeed, a fact} that each and every day i live through will bring with it its own satchel-full of inconveniences...and delays...and problems...and mistakes...if i can accept that, then when those issues do arise, i can face them head-on, knowing that they were inevitable.

inconveniences aren't nearly as inconvenient when they're expected.  

it's when we have the unrealistic view that life is going to run without a glitch 

and that everything is going to be perfect 

that the molehill of an inconvenience becomes the mountain that ruins our day. 

of the three "lightbulb moments" i had that day, this one is, perhaps, the most simple one of all.  
it, also, was the very easiest change for me to make in my thinking...it was quite literally like flipping a switch for me.
i went from each difficulty seemingly startling me by its appearance in my life to expecting, if not anticipating, mundane bothers and disruptions.
it required a bit of re-training of my mental dialogue...instead of letting out a huff and a puff and a sigh with each little nuisance, i tried to consistently remind myself that i had planned for this disturbance. 

so, this monday, when i was elbow-deep in work--juggling the wash/dry/fold of that day's fourth load of laundry; shipping multiple packages for my husband; photographing/measuring/posting sale items to instagram; along with the general upkeep and daily household chores--and i came upstairs 

{from folding clothes} to the sound of my four-year-old crying because she didn't make it to the bathroom in time {she was playing an engrossing game of dress-up},  a quick mental dialogue with myself reminded me that this was ok...it was expected...it wasn't really a terrible inconvenience...it was simply a minor interruption in my work flow.

i'm still not perfect in this area {or in any area, for that matter}, but i've come a long way.

do you find yourself being put-out by the same minor annoyances day in and day out?
did you wake up this morning hoping that your children would sleep in?
hoping that your potty-training two-year-old would have NO accidents?
hoping that today your husband wouldn't text needing you to call this place/
ship that package/iron that shirt?
hoping that your children would let you sew/read/knit/crochet/exercise/shower without interruption?
before you read this post, were you hoping that today would be a much better day than yesterday?  
or is it already so bad that you're hoping-against-hope that tomorrow will be better than today?

allow me to digress for a moment...
i run three times a week.
i say "run"...keep in mind that "run" is a very relative term.
my average pace right now is 5.5mph...which basically means that i run about an 11-minute mile.  
i've run that same pace, give or take a few seconds, for my past six runs.
if i went out to run tomorrow evening, and told you that i was hoping to run an eight-minute mile, i'm sure you'd be kind, and encouraging, and supportive, but you'd also probably try to let me down gently and encourage me to base my goal on my most recent averages.

and that sums it up in a nutshell.
look at your most recent averages.
keep it real.

i am not saying that we should walk through life with a defeatist attitude...like we're beat before we've even started...i'm not saying that at all.

i am saying that we need to take an honest, realistic view of our daily lives, and base our hopes and expectations on that.

live your daily life with your expectations based on solid reality,

not your hopes based on perfectionistic ideals.

gina's post really said it most perfectly.

when you have time, go back and re-read it.  i've read it several times myself, and it never fails to help me push that reset button.

this is the last installment of my finding balance story.  i so hope and pray that these posts have been a help to you.  i know that just typing them out has been a great reminder to me of lessons that i've learned along the way and resolutions that i need to renew on a consistent basis.

next week, our guest posts will begin!  

i absolutely cannot wait for these friends to share their stories with us.

and also, i can't stress this enough...like i said in the introduction to this series, 
words unwritten, un-offered cannot assist.

we'd really love your input...your advice...your insight...your helpful hints...your interaction...

we want to hear from you just as much as every guest writer that will be posting here.

leave a comment, email me {address found here}, or contact me via instagram (@tweetpotatopie).  your thoughts matter.

what we're reading {july edition}...

i kind of love posts like this.
i'm naturally a nosy curious person...
i love those "here's what's in my purse" posts...or "my daily makeup regimen"...or "my wardrobe staples"...
i love little glimpses of intimate information that you wouldn't normally share on a 
just-getting-to-know-you basis.  
it's kind of like stealing a base.  like finding a great footpath through the woods that really does get you to the creek ahead of everybody else.  it's like a friendship shortcut.
i love to learn about a person by poking around in different areas of their home.  
not intruding on privacy, mind you...just being observant...
the doo-dads balanced precariously on end tables...the minutia that gathers on the nightstands...
the daily clutter that lands on kitchen counters...and best of all, the bookshelves.  
one can glean so much knowledge about another by observing the books that person reads.

i thought it might be fun to give you a peek at what we're reading this month.

first, just a little bit about us.
paul {my husband}, doesn't have a lot of time to read.  but he makes up for that in different ways.  
me...you already know most everything you need to know about me...and anything else you can probably find here.
our oldest daughter, austyn, is eleven, in sixth grade, and is a very advanced reader.  she reads voraciously, often going through an entire book and into a second one in a single day.
our only son, colton, is what i'd describe as a hesitant reader.  he has never had his sister's hunger for reading...until this summer.  more about that below...
addison and eden are still a little young to be reading on their own.  i may include them in future "what we're reading posts," but they aren't joining us today.

so...
here's what we're reading...

erin's pile--home safe by elizabeth berg.  i'm only a few chapters into this book {although i've read it before}, so i can't give you a thorough synopsis on it {i'm notoriously bad at remembering what a book is about, hence the reason i love to own them and will often re-read books i've enjoyed}.  i will say, i love all of elizabeth berg's books and own all of them save her most recent release {april 2014}.  she has a way of dialoguing her character's thoughts and emotions that will leave you stunned.  i have often found myself silently saying, "i thought i was the only person that thought like that!"

the longest ride by nicholas sparks.  again, yet another book that i'm only a few chapters into.  i started reading this book last fall, immediately after it was released {sparks is on a short list of author's whose books are on my amazon pre-order list, so i received them theeee day of release}, but just couldn't get into it.  i picked it up again recently and am enjoying it, but so far it hasn't gripped my attention in a can't-put-it-down sort of way.  but that's ok.  i prefer light, non-engrossing reads in the summertime, anyway.

a homemade life by molly wizenberg.  when i say "light, non-engrossing reads," this book is exactly what i mean.  i'm already ten or so chapters into it, and loving it.  wizenberg's style of writing reminds me a lot of shauna niequist's...and this book actually seems like a soul-sister of bread & wine.

just for fun, i'm including the stack of books i use for my devotionals {not pictured, but definitely used on a daily basis, is my Bible}.  my daily routine varies and some days i will read from only one of these, while other days i may read and journal quotes and thoughts from all three.  

the pursuit of holiness by jerry bridges.  we are going through this book together in our adult sunday school class.  bridges's down-to-earth approach to a very high-minded subject has made it easier to apply biblical truths regarding holiness to my everyday life.

seasons of a mother's heart by sally clarkson.  this book was gifted to me by a fellow homeschooling mom {actually, one of my friends that will be guest-posting for the finding balance series}.  i appreciate clarkson's realistic view on life as a mother; and while this book was targeted specifically for homeschooling moms, its truths are universal and the book could easily be enjoyed by moms whose children are in traditional schools or even working or single mothers.  this book has been a slow read for me...usually just a page or two at a time, as i don't want to miss the tiny golden nuggets of advice and wisdom that are scattered throughout.  i love that reading this book feels like i'm picking the brain of someone who's walked my same path but is several years ahead of me.  reading this reminds me of the adage i've often heard, " experience is actually the second-best teacher.  someone else's experience is the best teacher."

devotions for morning and evening with mrs. charles e. cowman.  although i own my own copy of this book, the one seen in the photo above is the copy i regularly use and belonged to mom.  all the little colored tabs you see peeping out of the top are hers...most of them are written on...and her notes are scattered all throughout the pages of this book.  the book itself is a fabulous devotional--really, i can't recommend it highly enough.  it's been my favorite devotional book for years and years.  but finding her notes here and there...that's like unexpected little joy-gifts on those days.

this book, as you may guess from the title, has two devotional passages for each day--one for morning, one for evening.  i often read both passages at the same time, during my morning scripture-reading.  most of the excerpts in the book were written many, many years ago, and as such the language used is a bit different than our modern vernacular.  i truly enjoy the differing terminology and don't find it in the least distracting. 

 austyn's pile--when i was preparing for this blog post, i told austyn to go get me the books that she's currently reading.  that was the only instruction i gave her.  this is the stack she brought out to me.  it did my momma's heart good to see her Bible on the top of the pile.

soul surfer by bethany hamilton.  austyn has long held a fascination for anything surfing/ocean-related.  she devours books about underwater sea life and even once wrote a report detailing her future life living in a shack on the beach.
austyn watched the soul surfer movie several months ago and wanted to borrow it again from the library.  when she looked it up in the catalog, it was already being used, but she was thrilled to find that there was a book {she hadn't known that before this} and eagerly checked it out.

the kings of clonmel {from the ranger's apprentice series} by john flanagan.  i fanatically read through this entire series last summer...going through all ten books {there were only ten that i was aware of at that time} in a few short weeks.  these are books that i stayed up into the wee hours of the morning to finish...they're that good.  they're classified as young-adult fiction, but they thoroughly entertained me and i didn't find them to be distractingly juvenile at all.
austyn started reading the series a couple weeks ago and has been flying through the books at lightning speed.  she's currently on book 8, but asked to include book 9 in the photo.  i obliged.☺
i highly recommend this series for your young adult readers.  because of some battle/lovey-dovey content, i wasn't ready for austyn to read them any earlier than she did {she'll be entering sixth grade this fall}, but that's certainly up to your own discretion.  if you're in doubt, read them yourself first...you will not regret it.  they are great books.

 colton's pile-- i described colton above as a reluctant reader.  it's not really that he hates reading...just that he can always find something he'd rather be doing.  i've always loved to read, even as a young child/teenager, and was really anxious to find books that he'd actually enjoy.
thankfully, at the beginning of this summer, he re-discovered the magic tree house books and has been devouring them as quickly as we can check them out from the library.  most of these books are between a second and third grade reading level; and while colton is going into fourth grade this fall, i have no qualms with him reading these books.  it's not that he's a struggling reader...it's just that he doesn't necessarily enjoy reading.  these books may be below his reading level, but if they get him to read and to enjoy reading, it's more than fine with me!

hurry up, houdini is colton's current read, though he goes through them so quickly, i'm sure that will change by this evening.



i don't have photos of paul's reading pile...
paul drives a truck for nestlé, and while he has very little time to read ink-on-paper books, he goes through audio books quite quickly with his many hours on the road.  when he talks about having read a book, i tease him that listening doesn't count and that he didn't really read it.  but truthfully, he is an audio learner and i am a visual learner...he retains just as much {if not more} by listening to his books as i do by actually reading them.

paul is currently listening to the tipping point by malcolm gladwell.  before this, he listened to blink...and after this, he plans to listen to outliers, both by the same author.
he also has the longmire series downloaded as a soon-read.



so, there you have it.
what are you reading right now?
i'm always looking for good book recommendations for myself, and also especially for colton.  i'd love to find him a series that's geared a bit more toward his "real" reading level, but that he'd enjoy just as much.  your suggestions are appreciated.

random randomness 7/25/14

sunday--we sang this song in church.  sometimes i think we've heard some of the same old hymns over and over again until the words mean nothing to us.  i was struck by the power behind these awesome lyrics.  and in case you're interested, here's the story behind the song.  and i giggled when i found out that it was originally decried as the "contemporary christian music" of its day.

monday--thankful for friends who fall into this category.

tuesday--finished c25k week 7, day 1.  ran 2.51 miles in 27:09 at a pace of 5.6mph.  
sloooooooooow by many standards, but a personal best.  felt good.

wednesday--we recently set up a live-by-or-die-by budget and a friend turned me on to this site.  
right now, i'm going through the tedious process of entering all our info there, but i'm excited about the easy accessibility it will give us to view all our financial data.

thursday--these colors make me want to read her books--specifically this one and this one.

friday--on this list, number 9 is one of the things i miss most with my mom being gone.  
and numbers 3, 10, and 23 made me cry.


last week's saturday-only garage sale was a bust...here in the midwest, thursday and friday are the days for garage sales.  go fig.
so, i'm manning my garage sale again today until 4:00 {did the same yesterday}, and then everything is out to the curb for freebies {we are not those people who hoard stuff away for "next year's sale"}. 
last c25k run of the week tomorrow, friends coming for a cookout tomorrow night, 
and then church on sunday.
i love the loosey-goosey, no-set-schedule of the weekends.

happy friday, y'all!

{favorite IG post of the week...i'm @tweetpotatopie on there, too}

on finding balance {erin's story--part two}...

{in case you missed it, the introduction to the series is here...and the first post is here.}

in last week's post, i detailed how difficult my struggle for balance was this past spring.
i don't want to re-hash that, other than to stress, once again, to you that this was a real, tangible, 
anxiety-inducing battle i was fighting on a day-by-day, hour-by-hour basis.
and i felt like i was losing.

until I recognized three errors in my thought processes.

i'm looking back at a letter that i wrote to a friend (yes, i took photos of the letter--this series was brewing in my heart even back then), shortly after i came through the "eye of the storm."

"it may sound like such a simple thought, such a simple concept.  but He gave it to me RIGHT when i needed it so desperately."

the first adjustment in my thinking came in realizing that my all probably won't look like your all.  
and that my all doesn't need to look a little more like her all.  
and that He doesn't wish i'd do my all plus ANYthing.  
He just wants my all.  
and He and i are the only ones who know what my all looks like.

unbelievably, both of my other areas of faulty thinking were revealed to me that same day. 
{or maybe this is just how things like this go.  i've never been through anything quite like this, so i can't speak from former experience.  but you know how, once your brain gets working on a certain idea or plan or concept, the thoughts start building, one on top of the other?  that's kind of how this was.  all three of my errors in thinking--i know i keep calling them that, but that's just exactly what they were--all three of them were shown to me in the same day...the same saturday.}

anywhooo, that same day, i was given what i like to call "freedom of honest comparison."
compare.
comparing.
comparison.
they're all bad words when we're talking about people.
we aren't supposed to compare one child to the other...
and heaven forbid we compare our child to their child!

i am a big comparer.  
{that word doesn't look right...and it doesn't sound right, either.
but for the sake of this post, let's just assume it's a word, ok?}
i'm a big comparer.  i compare.
and most of all, i compare me.
i constantly compare myself to others.
...aaaaaaand your mind instantly jumps to an assumption about me.
"she thinks she's better than everyone else.  she thinks she cooks better, cleans better, schools better, eats/drinks/launders/dresses/grooms/parents/drives/gardens/farms/buys/sells/worships/gives/serves 
better than everyone else."
WRONG.
i constantly compare myself to others, but not in a prideful way.
no.  i'm too grounded to do that.
rather, i constantly compare myself to others and always find myself lacking.
i told a friend, "tell me one positive thing about me and i'll match you with fifty negative things."
i am my worst critic.
when i compare myself to others, the same person comes up short every time.
me.

and, quite possibly, the worst thing about comparison is that there is a never-ending list of things about which we can compare ourselves up against others...

our income

our job

our house

our weight

our looks

our health

our eating habits

our exercise habits

our vehicles

our pets

our children

our family heritage

our education

our children's education

and on...and on...and on...

and while social media {namely Instagram} is a powerful tool, and it has brought so much good into my life, it can also be a daily--sometimes hourly--source of fuel for the self-comparison fire. 
at any time, any day, i can scroll through an innocent little app on my phone and find people who are better...


but on that saturday, i was granted the honesty to see MY better-ness, too.

before, i'd see, "she's so much more creative in her homeschooling than i am."
now, i also see this, "yes, but i'm far more creative in my home decorating than she is."

before, "her kitchen is so much cleaner than mine."
now, "yes, erin, but her family eats out three nights a week, while yours eats meals that you cooked at home."

you get the idea.  
i don't want to go on and on because, frankly, it's more than a little embarrassing, 
not to mention sounding trite and trivial and shallow.  
the extent to which we compare ourselves and others is downright ridiculous.

please, if you don't gain anything else from this post, i hope you'll get this.  
i do not believe that comparison is a good thing.
i believe that comparing ourselves with others is damaging and hurtful.
i believe that comparison is a double-edged sharp weapon, 
wounding both the compare-er and the compare-ee.
i believe that comparison is an instrument best left untouched, unused.
the Bible itself says that comparison is unwise. {II Cor 10:12}

all that said, i do believe that comparing is a natural human thought process.
i am not saying it is right or good or helpful.
i am saying it is natural.  and normal.

and on that saturday, i was finally allowed to see that i don't always come up on the short end of the comparison.
He showed me...He allowed me to see... that everyone is not always better at everything.
He gave me "permission" to be truly honest in my comparing--
to see that there really are things that i am better at...
just like there are things that "she" is better at.

while she may excel at gardening, i may be better at cooking healthy meals. 

although i might spend more one-on-one time with my children, she may be more fit and exercise more often. 

that family may have a beautifully landscaped yard, while our family gets to enjoy the geese and chickens that scatter our mulch and peck our perennials. 

yes, there are things that she is better at...

just like there are things that i am better at. 

that's how life is...strengths and weaknesses. 

in the end, 

it's a lot more about our fabulous differences 

and a lot less about our inferiority to others. 

now it's your turn...

is comparison causing an imbalance in your life?

do you have "one-sided blindness?"...only seeing the good and beautiful and positive in others 

while finding bad and ugly and negative in yourself?

is she fit and you're fat?

is she creative and you're thoughtless?

is she fun and you're dull?

is her house clean and yours is cluttered?

does she have rhodes scholars for children and david beckham for a husband while your own children struggle with times tables and your husband battles the mid-life bulge?

if you answered a resounding "yes!" to many of the questions above, you probably need to take a step back {or several steps back} and use honest comparison.  allow yourself to see, to acknowledge your own better-ness.

while she may be a scheduled, disciplined mom, you may be more carefree and fun.  there is nothing wrong with seeing that you are a more-fun-mom.  just like there is nothing wrong with her being a more disciplined mom.  it's not that either of you is a better mom.  it's that you are different, that's all.

she may have manicured nails, and you may have a manicured yard.  you're better at keeping up your landscaping.  she's better at keeping up her grooming.  differences.  that's all.

you'll find that you still see just as many positives in others...but you see those in addition to the positives you find in yourself.  the tendency to compare actually seems to fade as you gradually soften the sharp edges of those contrasts that used to cut you so deeply.  

we may find such admirable traits in others...

but we also see such valuable strengths in ourselves.

it takes time.

and it takes practice.

but it is ever so worth it.

you are worth it.

{i'll be back next thursday with the final installment of my finding balance story.  
after that, we get to hear from my friends.  i'm so looking forward to it.  stick around, k?}

clean and easy taco seasoning {paleo/whole 30}

~y'all...my best friend gave me this recipe for homemade taco seasoning...

even when we aren't trying to eat healthy--and those days are behind us--this is the only taco seasoning we use.  the days of store-bought, rip-open-an-envelope seasonings are so long gone.  after one taste of this, you'll never turn back.

i like to mix up a big batch--usually a triple or quadruple batch--and put it in a big, clamp-seal glass jar...that way I've got it on hand whenever i need it.  i also make it a habit to grab the ingredients for it as soon as i use them up...trust me, if it's taco night at your house, you don't want to find yourself without this stuff.

☛clean and easy taco seasoning

2 Tbsp. chili powder

4 tsp. onion powder

2 tsp. cumin

2 tsp. paprika

2 tsp. garlic powder

2 tsp. oregano

2 tsp. sugar (optional, and i always omit it)

1 tsp. salt

for taco meat:

add 1/2 cup seasoning mix and 2/3 cup water to 2 pounds browned, ground meat.  heat through and serve.

marinade for fajitas:

1/2 cup water, 1/2 cup seasoning, 3 Tbsp olive oil.  makes enough marinade for 2 pounds of meat.

random randomness 7/18/14

heard (and loved) this song.

listened to my friend and looked up this blog post on drinking your coffee with two hands.  
trust me, it's a must-read.

planning to spend some quality time this coming week doing this.

reading this during my devotions.
and this just for fun.  indelible proof, once again, that you can, indeed, judge a book by its cover. 
{i've held that belief for years.}

that last sentence looks comma-heavy; but I googled and I am, indeed, supposed to place commas before and after "indeed" when used in such a context. {the short-short of the rule is, if "indeed" can be removed from the sentence without changing the general meaning of the sentence, it should be encapsulated with commas.  just call me Grammar Granny.}

totally not paleo or whole30, but i'm planning on making this cake for our church potluck on sunday.  what's more, i'm planning on eating a {tiny} piece, too.

going to find that link for you led to my alphabetizing my Pinterest boards.

garage saling with my bestie until noon tomorrow.  then lunch.  then setting up for my own garage sale.  saturday is packed with our garage sale until 2:00, end-of-the-week c25k run with the hubs, a birthday party, and food prep for sunday's get-together.  then church on sunday and the annual church picnic to follow.
a full, fun weekend!

happy friday, y'all!

{favorite IG post of the week...i'm @tweetpotatopie on there, too}

on finding balance {erin's story--part one}...

earlier this spring, i found myself greatly struggling with balance.
with feeling comfortable in my skin.
with liking who i am and where i am in life.

i want to be sure to be clear...
i wasn't struggling with contentment...
at least not as far as money or prestige or personal possessions is concerned.

i was struggling with me...or with my view of me.

the turmoil was deep.
it was dark.
and it consumed much of my thoughts for several weeks on end.

i felt buried.  overwhelmed.  beside myself.
i'm a doer.  an achiever.  a git-'er-done sorta girl.
and what i do, i do well.
at least, that's always my goal.

my mom always told me, "erin, with you it's always 'all or nothing.' there's no in between."
and she was right on.
if i'm going to do something, i jump in with both feet...cannonball style.
i'm in.  all the way.

but sometimes that catches up to me.
and this spring, it all caught up to me.

i sought advice from friends, counsel from mentors, and solace from His Word.

i'm looking at my phone, scrolling back through some messages...
finding my words from when i was in the thick of it all...
and i'm remembering exactly how it felt.

"it seems to get really bad once a year.
it's like i just get COMPLETELY overwhelmed with ALLLLLL that's on my plate, 
and have NO clue what can "give"...
it seems like NOTHING can give.
that it's ALLLL priority."

"i'm VERY task-oriented.
accomplishment-driven.
also very motivated by fear and guilt.
that probably sounds like a weird combo.
ok.  here's an example.
i 'go easy' on a day of school--it's gorgeous and sunshine-y, so i let the kids play outside and do a nature report and i call it good for the day.  now mind you, i don't do this all the time--VERY rarely, in fact--just today, since it's such a nice day.
but, IF i do such a thing, then the fear--they'll be 'behind' (whatever that really means), they won't learn what they should, and on and on.
then the guilt--i should be better at school.  i should plan better. i should make it more interesting.
and on and on and on.
it's ALLLLLL in my head.
all at the same time as doing the laundry and cooking dinner and shipping packages and weeding the garden...and...and...and..."

"yes.  it sounds crazy.
because it IS.
but when all those voices are talking at once, 
it's like i can't turn ANY of them off."


and then from a different conversation...

"homeschool.
money/selling.
being a decent, kind, gentle, loving wife and mother.
walking with Jesus.
diet and exercise.
crafting.
yard/garden/chickens.
housework.
it's not that all of those weigh on my mind necessarily.
it's that i just canNOT seem to find a balance.
i feel that all of these are things i MUST be/do.
but when i try to successfully do ALL of them, i seem to fail miserably.
i can be good at ONE.
and ONLY ONE.
so, while i may have a good money-making/selling week,
i'm a terrible mom/wife...short-tempered, barely getting meals on the table.
or i may exercise every day, but my devotional life lags and the bathrooms are scuzzy.
you get the picture."

"i'm just really, really struggling with all of it.
and feeling like a failure.
and feeling like my kids are going to grow up and i'm going to have chosen all the wrong things to focus on.
yet, i can't really just DROP all the other things, either!
and my type-A brain is just in a dizzy-tizzy over trying to sort it all out."

"it's so much easier to see why OTHERS deserve grace and why *I* just need to muscle through and get it ALL done."

"the biggest thing for me, right now, is pinpointing exactly what *isn't* working for me.
because right now, it feels like it all HAS to work. 
like there is no other option."



does any of this sound familiar?
does any of this sound like you?
well, i'm certainly no guru, and i can't claim to be an expert on much of anything; but the Lord really opened my eyes to several areas of faulty thinking, skewed reasoning in my own life.

i had to change my thought patterns in three specific areas.
and to be perfectly honest with you, it wasn't difficult!
in fact, it was surprisingly easy.
once those three areas were pointed out to me, it was like the proverbial lightbulb moment.

i distinctly remember when and where i was when the Lord showed me the first fault in my thinking.
i was vacuuming my living room on a sunny Saturday morning, when i started thinking about my all.
i love my family--my husband and children--i love them so very much.  i want to be what they need, 
do what they need, give what they need.  i want to give them my all.
but what does it mean to give my all?
i understand that in serving my family i am serving Him.
but what does it mean that He desires my all?
you know what it means, friend?
it means that He wants me to give Him, to give my family, MY all.
MY best.
MY 100%.

i don't need to give Him YOUR all.
i don't need to give them HER all or HIS all.
{imagine me there, pointing at imaginary, fictional characters, okay?}
i don't need to be as good as anyone else.  He doesn't ask that and my family doesn't need that.
i don't need to craft like anyone else, or mother like anyone else, or do business like anyone else, or wife or garden or farm or exercise or worship or clean or cook or pray or teach like anyone else.

He doesn't ASK me to be like anyone else!

He doesn't WANT me to be like anyone else!

He wants me to be the very best ME that i can be.

and that's all.

i don't need to give anyone else's all.

i simply need to give my all.

and today, my all may be a day at the beach with the kiddos...

and that may mean hot dogs for dinner and sand on the hardwood floors 

and laundry that didn't get folded and toilets that didn't get scoured.

but that's ok.

and the great thing is, i am really and truly learning and realizing and grasping 

and applying that truth to my life.

it really is ok.

because i gave it my all.

and that, indeed, is all He asks.

are you stressed? overwhelmed? feeling in-over-your-head?

take a look at your to-do list...whether it's actually on paper or just in your head, take a long hard look at it.

how much of it is your all?

and how much of it is you trying to live up to someone else's all?

maybe one of the reasons our lives seem so out-of-balance 

is that we are piling things high on our plates 

that were never intended to be there in the first place.

and maybe it's not the actual responsibility/task/duty that has taken on someone else's identity, 

but maybe it's the intensity or importance that you've assigned that item.

don't try to cook as good as HER.

it's actually more helpful to your family that you're better at gardening.

don't try to mother as good as HER.

He wants you to pour that extra attention into your marriage right now.

simply be the best you that you can be.

give Him your all.

that, truly, is all He asks.

over the next two Thursdays, i'll be sharing those other "aha!" moments with you.
they're small.  not monumental at all.  
but they made a world of difference to me and i'm hoping and praying that they'll help you, too.

after that, i have some friends that are going to chime in with their thoughts and personal stories of finding balance.  i am so looking forward to that...to the opportunity to view my own blog with the same anticipation and opening-a-letter-from-a-friend feeling i get when reading my favorite blogs.

and of course, i'm hoping to hear from you.  
have you gone through your own personal struggle with finding balance? 
have you come through victorious on the other side?  or are you still in the thick of the battle?
either way, sound off!  let me know what you're thinking.
you're just as vital to this entire collaboration as anyone else is.

follow along, won't you?  i'd love to have you here with us!

{just in case you missed it, here's the introduction to the series. xo}

{{this post was completely finished last night, ready for me to hit "publish" first thing this morning.  and in a funny twist of "isn't that just how things go?" this showed up on today's daily calendar page.  it was too fitting not to share.}}